How exercise saved my life...
In my youth I was very active with sports and was even a cheerleader in my high school years. At an early age as far back as elementary I suffered from severe anxiety. I was in therapy at the Childrens Hospital of Pittsburgh for several years and could barely leave my mom's side. As my teen years approached I started using alcohol. What most people do not know is my usage went way beyond a teen hanging out with friends. I would sneak it in the house and drink all alone, before and after school mainly because I was trying to stop the anxious thoughts and feelings I had never quite over come as a young girl. The more I drank the less anxious I felt. My parents caught on to what I was doing and I returned to therapy. I was rebellious and at times the forced therapy only made me worse.
My senior year of high school I fell in love... And only 2 years after graduation at the age of 20 we married. At 22 years old I had my first child, upon his birth I suffered from postpartum depression, while suffering with my postpartum and adapting to a new born child I found out I was once again pregnant when my son was only 9 months old. My moods began to fluctuate. One day I was happy, the next I was sad, angry, elated, euphoric...i had know Idea who I was. I lost all my friends, for now I was paying a mortgage and caring for two babies, they were out having fun. The depression and constant mood changes escalated after the birth of my second child. Not long after I experienced my first 30 day Psychiatric hospital stay. This was the start of 10 years of hell for me and my family. Life for me was a rollercoaster of good and bad days. During the next 10 years I endured 3 (30 day) hospitals stays and 2 medication pill overdoses. I wanted to die. I just couldn't stand hating myself another day. My life felt domed and I felt I had become a burden to my family. I spent years in therapy and LOADED with medications. A friend once told me they saw me and cried after I left because I looked so bad they barely knew who I was anymore. In 2005 I told myself it was time to take action and at that moment I made a commitment no matter how bad I felt that I was going to win this battle, I requested to be removed off all my medication accept Zanax to help with my anxieties. I started to improve my eating and I went back to being more active. I recall the first day I went into the gym, I made it 30 minutes in a 60 min fitness class and ran out the room crying. I shut myself in a bathroom stall and sobbed..face red from exhaustion, struggling to lift just 3 lbs over my head. UGH! I was humiliated. How did it get to this point? How did I let myself go!!! Where was I?? Who was I?Would I ever get myself back again??? As I sat in the bathroom stall, thoughts racing just as face as my elevated heart rate, I knew I had 2 choices. I could feel sorry for myself, leave and never come back OR i could accept myself as I was at that very moment and be willing to come back even if it meant leaving class 30 minutes into an hour session. Well, as you may figure I went back...again and again and again. And as my life seemed to begin to fall back into place I soon was asked to become a spinning instructor to cover classes for someone who was leaving the facility. And so thats where my new story began. I never looked back after that day in the bathroom stall. I knew I wanted more, I knew for the people who loved me i NEEDED more, I needed to be BETTER. That day I was sitting in the bathroom stall I would have never dreamed that I would one day be coaching 3 classes a day, 12 - 14 classes a week. I soon was taken off my Zanax and have never needed anxiety medication assistance again! Exercise has become my new get well drug! I take living a healthy lifestyle serious because IT IS SERIOUS!! Exercise and good nutritional habits are essential for a good healthy life. Things in your life can change...you don't have to be held down by your disabilities or inabilities...but you must CHOOSE to change. Now, I live my life in hopes that my one hour class or my time spent in these groups might be what helps someone else to live a happier life. Friends...take the time to care for yourself by eating well and moving your body!!!! For it may one day save your life as it did mine.
My senior year of high school I fell in love... And only 2 years after graduation at the age of 20 we married. At 22 years old I had my first child, upon his birth I suffered from postpartum depression, while suffering with my postpartum and adapting to a new born child I found out I was once again pregnant when my son was only 9 months old. My moods began to fluctuate. One day I was happy, the next I was sad, angry, elated, euphoric...i had know Idea who I was. I lost all my friends, for now I was paying a mortgage and caring for two babies, they were out having fun. The depression and constant mood changes escalated after the birth of my second child. Not long after I experienced my first 30 day Psychiatric hospital stay. This was the start of 10 years of hell for me and my family. Life for me was a rollercoaster of good and bad days. During the next 10 years I endured 3 (30 day) hospitals stays and 2 medication pill overdoses. I wanted to die. I just couldn't stand hating myself another day. My life felt domed and I felt I had become a burden to my family. I spent years in therapy and LOADED with medications. A friend once told me they saw me and cried after I left because I looked so bad they barely knew who I was anymore. In 2005 I told myself it was time to take action and at that moment I made a commitment no matter how bad I felt that I was going to win this battle, I requested to be removed off all my medication accept Zanax to help with my anxieties. I started to improve my eating and I went back to being more active. I recall the first day I went into the gym, I made it 30 minutes in a 60 min fitness class and ran out the room crying. I shut myself in a bathroom stall and sobbed..face red from exhaustion, struggling to lift just 3 lbs over my head. UGH! I was humiliated. How did it get to this point? How did I let myself go!!! Where was I?? Who was I?Would I ever get myself back again??? As I sat in the bathroom stall, thoughts racing just as face as my elevated heart rate, I knew I had 2 choices. I could feel sorry for myself, leave and never come back OR i could accept myself as I was at that very moment and be willing to come back even if it meant leaving class 30 minutes into an hour session. Well, as you may figure I went back...again and again and again. And as my life seemed to begin to fall back into place I soon was asked to become a spinning instructor to cover classes for someone who was leaving the facility. And so thats where my new story began. I never looked back after that day in the bathroom stall. I knew I wanted more, I knew for the people who loved me i NEEDED more, I needed to be BETTER. That day I was sitting in the bathroom stall I would have never dreamed that I would one day be coaching 3 classes a day, 12 - 14 classes a week. I soon was taken off my Zanax and have never needed anxiety medication assistance again! Exercise has become my new get well drug! I take living a healthy lifestyle serious because IT IS SERIOUS!! Exercise and good nutritional habits are essential for a good healthy life. Things in your life can change...you don't have to be held down by your disabilities or inabilities...but you must CHOOSE to change. Now, I live my life in hopes that my one hour class or my time spent in these groups might be what helps someone else to live a happier life. Friends...take the time to care for yourself by eating well and moving your body!!!! For it may one day save your life as it did mine.